Have you ever been on a train, speaking to someone on the phone, when a person across from you gives you ‘the look’? ‘The look’ can mean stop speaking loudly or even stop speaking!

Or have you been the ‘look giver’ yourself?

The manner in which we live our lives, how we give expression to what is desirable, valuable, normal (and all of these opposites) is an expression of culture. However, culture varies so drastically throughout the world. White, English brides have traditionally worn white wedding dresses. However, the colour of mourning in China (until quite recently) has also been white. For both of these cultures, white also carries the symbolism of purity – but the contexts are completely different.

I grew up in a very complicated society. One culture would expect me to ‘be quiet’ and not to raise my voice. Another culture would expect me to speak loudly to another person in a public space as this was an expression of honesty and transparency. Both cultures had a norm that was the opposite of the other! London has 287 distinct ethnic groups and nationalities; over 300 languages are spoken here. How absolutely amazing!

The chosen theme of Dying Matters week 2025 is ‘The Culture of dying matters’. The theme draws us to understand that individual cultures express and value ‘good’ and ‘bad’ dying differently. This, too, highlights that there can be many different cultural obstacles that stop us from speaking and adequately preparing for death. For many cultures, speaking of dying is seen as taboo.

Watch our video below and hear from several of our staff and volunteers as they answer four statements about death and dying, and their culture.

Aspects of western culture, which is a dominant influence on all of our lived experience, choose to avoid speaking and preparing for death too – the focus can be on extending life as long as possible and seeing death as a medical failure.

Hospice care is a mature response to this death denial. Yet, it needs to be culturally informed to truly help people ‘die well’.

What would your own answers be to these questions?

• In my culture, death....  
• In my culture, it’s essential for the dying person to….
• In my culture, one taboo about death is….
• In my culture, the most important way to die, is....